The first anniversery

A year ago I started this blogg and to be honest I wasn’t sure that I still would be writing a year later. I have to admit that I posted more frekvently in the beginning than I am now.

I read through the post I wrote a year ago and I have to admit that what I hope for not has been done. Well, a couple things have almost happened:
- I didn’t go to London I November but I have booked a trip in May. I have bought an entrance ticket to Chelsea Flower Show on the 29th. I hope the weather Gods are with me and lets the sun shine.

- The kitchen hasn’t been remodelled – yet. Beside me on the floor are the tiles, wallpaper and paint and on Thursday the “kitchen” itself is coming. If the builders don’t turn up on the 18th January ,,, well, I am most certainly going to say a few things that can’t be printed.

- I have gained, not lost, some weigh which isn’t very fun. However, two years ago I took the decision to do something about my weight and in a few months I lost almost 15 kg. I have decided to do the same thing again. I know it will be tough, I’m going to miss my evening snack, chocolates etc. This added to that I have already started to go to work during weekends to do some training (today I walked/jogged at a speed of 7km/hour for 30 min) and will start to “Zumba” in a few weeks time makes me hope that I’ll turn the negative weight situation to something positive. Perhaps I should keep some sort of diary this time?

- I wrote one chapter after editing the two I had then it all ended. It’s silly really since the story is ready in my head, all it needs is to get down on paper.

- My illness hasn’t behaved at all this year and has given me a lot grief. I know that compared to what other people have/got it’s nothing to talk about but it is my reality. I hope for next year that my health takes a positive turn. I am going to go back to the doctor at least one more time for a “check up” and can only pray that they now think I’m well enough. I don’t think I can handle any more experimenting with my medicine. I think it works fine right now. Also I don’t want to have a meting like the last one, it was so unnecessary. It could have been done by phone to be honest, instead I had to go there with all the anxiety it means. It’s almost feels like a “good” patient to train interns on.

- I still lack in the being better friends department too I’m afraid, even if I feel I’m a little better that before.

All in all 2010 can only be better …

So a year from today I hope to write about
- a new kitchen and perhaps even a bathroom
- London
- a good health year
- a finished story
- more Hoya plants - and much more

So sad

At 3 am some idiot put a light to our billy goat, making it go up in flames. I just can’t understand why this needs to happen each year, why people can’t see it for the Christmas symbol it is. I guess it’s fun to see if you get caught (which only has happened ones) and if you are drunk I guess it’s a fun challenge to get and take.

At the same time as it burned down the webcam’s places around it went down and when they came up again the goat was burnt.

It’s so so sad.

The first photo is found on Wikipedia, Swedish version, the second photo is from the newspaper today.

White Christmas

With just a few more days before Christmas and with snow and minus degrees predicted I think I safely can say that the whole of Sweden will for the first time in many years have a white Christmas.

In Gävle we have had snow for nearly a week now with degrees down to -13 C. However I woke up this morning as the news on the radio told me that in Trelleborg, where my parents live and almost as south as you can get in Sweden, tanks were placed beside the ambulances ready to leave is an emergency happened. People were warned to go outside and definitve drive on the roads. Still the news showed cars on the roads, in trouble.

As the snow is still falling I guess my collegue might have a hard time to drive to work as she lives about 45 minutes drive from Gävle. I guess I should start preparing my mind that I'll be cancelling her patients first thing tomorrow morning. And that I'll be ploughing through the snow myself.

Now if I just could remember what I had booked in my calender myself ...

kitchen update

After all the setbacks with my kitchen it has now slowly started to get going.

The kitchen itself was ordered in October and will be delivered in January, last Saturday I ordered the tiles and wallpaper (today I got a call telling me that the wallpaper has arrived), and Monday I ordered the floor and that will turn up on the 14th January.

And today – I got my new stove home.

It doesn’t fit; it’s not even supposed to fit, as the plane was that it wasn’t to be installed until the kitchen was in place. And it is not the stove I once ordered. I have learned a lot during the past months especially about stoves. The oven has got, and this I didn’t know until I looked in the instruction book, a pizza/pie function and two sorts of grill functions besides the ordinary warm air and heat function. I think my stove and I are going to have some great moments together. The fancy display the first stove had isn’t there but who cares. Just because it’s fancy doesn’t mean it’s functional, and who knows it might just have been one of those things that looks good but works like crap.

However I am happy that I did do my saffron buns Sunday as I’m sure it will take some time before my new friend Electrolux and I are on the same waveline!

Another step closer to my holiday in London

Hotel is booked. Flight is booked. Today I have ordered a ticket to Chelsea Flower Show on my birthday and Ritz a few days earlier. Now I think I should start to check what the theatre market has to offer – even if I’ll get most of those tickets in London. Now that sounded like I would go every evening! I do know however that if there is a very special one that I want to see it might be better to pre-order it and take a chance.

Still ....

Another day closer to my London holiday

Isn’t it typical?

This should normally be a very busy period at work but it’s not. I have since the 1 December only seen 17 patients (compared to normally 24) I wouldn’t say so much I guess it was so that I have now finished all the paperwork I had laying on my desk, done some inventory among the disability equipment we rent, read the magazine I had etc. it’s getting boring and the worst part is that the rest of the month don’t look any better, with one exception: I’m going to have, nearly every day, a evaluation/testing of possible dementia. Those sessions create paperwork and right now I’m happy for that!!

I guess I should try to remember today when I have more than I barging for in a few months time.

And the situation will toughen up. From the first of January a new health care system starts in Sweden, meaning that we all shall have picked a health care centre. The health care centre will get a certain sum of money, based on several things population aged being one. What the politicians have been thinking of here in Gävle I don’t know but basically it is like this that if you are young and in no need of medicinal care you have “top status” aka it’s you everyone want to have listed at the centre since you will bring money and not cost anything. Having said that you might have guessed that even if the same system “rules” over Sweden the containes is different.

My company will continue with the two health care centres they have in Gävle but the economy prognosis isn’t too good. Having said that I mean it’s not that we are going to close but we won’t expand either. Rehab is, for instance, a huge cost factor for them and we are in for some changes. As an OT there isn’t any too way to bring in some extra patient points either, instead we will have to think twice or three times before handing out equipment. We will always put our patients well being first but if it can be done with equipment that cost less but are equally good well than that’s what we have to give them. In Gävle it has for many years been so that the patients have to pay for certain things themselves. We can lend for a short period of three months and then under certain situations. These situations and the length of time have sometimes been floating but during the past year we have already started to “stiffen” things up a little and more is to come. Now everything isn’t as black as it may seem. We have lots of ideas of how we are going to extend the service to the population we serve. We are as prepared as we can get.

I’m more worried about things that I can’t do anything about. For instance has the director for the community heath care centres already declared that her health care centres will be allowed to continue as they are now, and during next year prepare for 2011. Hummm, their economy is really, really bad today. How isn’t it going to be if they don’t do anything? And it’s my tax money they are spending!! How can you compete against someone who continues spending money and give what the patient demands while we have to find solutions to the problem and perhaps suggest something equally good but not what the person wanted?

Competition- you might wonder, well in a way it is as anyone who wants and can full fill the qualifications can start a health care centre, even I. However for there are just so many people to enlist so we have to “compete” and win will be listed patients.

In a way I feel sorry for the staff. I know that we are a much better prepared here as we always have been involved and informed of our economy status and how things are/can be effected if something is done. Also we have been a slim organisation from the beginning. We are prepared and used to work in a high tempo. I still have colleagues in the community health care centres that think that 2 patients/day is OK. The demands on us are not that hard as a fulltime OT should have at least 20 patients/week (the problem now is low “input”). I think they might have a really hard wake up.

Losing temper

I don’t often loose my temper. I can whine and be irritated about things but I very seldom raise my voice. Last Thursday I did that to a colleague. I can only say that she pushed me over the edge when doing something at the wrong moment.

Since our youngest colleague went home as she had her baby it has just been the two of us. My colleague’s capacity to take many patients hasn’t been very high and she has never managed to reach the amount of visits that the company has set for us. She has this year but under the steady compliment that it’s too much and that she doesn’t have the time to do things the way she wants. She has been allowed to work extra (she works part time) when she has needed. On the opposite side there is me. I admit that we are like black and white. I have during the last year taken everything that hasn’t been with in the specific areas that she has or the patient has been one of hers before.

Tuesday I talked to a person from the community’s care taker. They were having huge problems with a customer. I didn’t have a time that was suitable for the rest of the week so I booked my colleague, who had the whole afternoon free (unbooked) a few days later. Sent a notice to my colleague, as we has as a routine, to notify her about it and got the answer back that she had had other plans for that afternoon. I didn’t comment on that even if I had a very sharp one on the tip of my tongue.

Comes Thursday, my colleague goes to that patient and when she came back she told me what was needed to be done and handed over the papers to me. I snapped. In my defence I do have to say that I had received that day 3 new patients from the hospital that I had booked on me and two more from our Health Care centres. I yelled at her and grabbed the papers from her.

Later I went and talked to her and found this out:
- The patient wasn’t hers; she had just gone in and judged the means of need. I told her that with that reasoning the patient and the staff around her were to wait for help until April since the patient was our "mummy colleague's". I had during the summer talked a lot with the night patrols boss but I hadn’t met the patient for years, and then I was only there to help "mummy colleague" to lift a bed. As I saw it the patient was hers but that I now had taken care of what needed to be ordered and would do the follow up.
- She thinks I’m going to take over some of her patients which I’m not. I have said that I can help her out. I have before seen to that equipment has been ordered or sent back. This doesn’t sound as much but takes it time. And if I start taking over her patients she won’t have many left. I know that I have said that I have time over sometimes and we are not getting in very much new. This is true. In fact we don’t have enough work if all three of us were working and every woman did what she was supposed to. There isn’t any waiting list and yet it’s our full-time colleague that is home. But perhaps I'm wrong, perhaps helping out means taking over patients.

We also talked about what the company wants and I was clear to her that they won’t, in the situation that is just now, listen to what we say, they will look at what we produce and costs for it. If we don’t produce they will simply see to that more OT % disappears. We simply have to accept that it’s going to be tough at work and if we want to keep our jobs accept it and do the best we can. It’s definitive not going to be easier next year, on the contrary, it's going to be even tougher.

I know I shouldn’t have snapped/yelled but I’m not sorry that I did.

Still, I’m dreading to go to work tomorrow.

Ayurveda and yoga

This weekend I have learned more about Ayurveda and yoga at a weekend course. It has been theory and practice. It has been cold! I who normally don’t want to have a blanket on me while doing Yoga Nidra or meditation have been wrapped up in a couple, plus today I took a pair of really thick socks with me. And yet I wished I could have some gloves on.

It has been very interesting and even though I have read and studied books and information on the internet since I went on the consultation I have got a new insight to the subject. I can also understand why I have had a hard time struggling with understand which kind of personality I have when a lot of things are against it. Mattias is going to e-mail us the information he has given us. I’m sure that if I can sit down I’ll understand more. Also we did get a book of him (one that I had before but never mind). I know that when I reread it I’m sure I’ll get more out of it.

It is as Mattias told me in February: I have got to much wind in my life. The imbalance means that I either blow out the fire or dry out the mud causing problems/dysfunctions in me. Also I can see why some food really isn’t for me and some is.

Now to be able to get healthier on all levels I need to start living more according to Ayurveda and avoid or at least lower the things that are nonos.

The question is: do I have the strength and energy in me to do so?

You never know or you should never say never

I have lately done a couple things I thought I would never do.
1) I have ordered tea online! I have ordered my favourite tea that I before only have been able to find at Selfridges in London (and Düsseldorf’s airport). I knew the company had a site but I never thought that I actually would order from it. And it didn’t stop just there my dear friends in Burr Ridge are getting some coffee and teabags of my favourite tea from that company too.

2) This week I started a savings account. Now that I have done before but I have never had one with just one purpose. This one is called San Francisco 2014. The week I stayed there in 2005 was really nice but still in a way disappointing since I damaged my knee when getting off the plane. I want to go there again and when I earlier this year looked into it I realized that the cost was too high. I can travel and stay in London for 8 nights and still have lots of spending money for the cost of just hotel and plane tickets. Monday this week one of the newspaper had a Lonely planet travellers guide about San Francisco as “extra” and this made me make a decision about saving to a trip and it felt suitable to have a goal too. You see, I plan to celebrate my 50th birthday in San Francisco.

Stella update

I made the tough decision that she shall stay with my parents. I do know that she doesn’t like to go by train and I do already know there will a few trips next year. Stella seems to enjoy her stay. She makes “our” bed each day, she spends so much time in the kitchen that dad thinks she must have been a chief in an earlier life, I say she is probably just amazed that the kitchen can be used for something and that someone knows how to cook.

Things where going so well

Stella left with my parents last Sunday. She looked at me when they drove off, probably wondering why I wasn’t in the car.

Monday came and I called the constructor. They can’t start on the kitchen until the 18th of January and we who had talked about mid-November. I have mangaged to have the kitchen units arrive in January instead of in a few weeks time. I have seen to that the new stove will be installed when it arrives next week.

But my Stella …

I’m feeling like a terrible mom right now. I sent her away and it wasn’t needed. I feel like I have deserted her. I don’t know if I should fetch her and then take her back to Skåne in January. Should I let her stay? That would mean 3 months away from now. Stella has through my father let me know that she wants to stay. Economical I should let her do that. The train tickets cost a lot. I know Stella isn’t that found of travelling by train even if she never protests when we do so. I know my parents spoil her and she gets to ride in the car. I know my parents would be OK with it.

But I’m not OK! It’s empty, not the same emptiness that have accrued when I lost my other two dogs, it’s different, another kind of emptiness. I feel terrible for washing her blankets and storing her food away (did that Sunday). It feels like I’m getting rid of her. I’m scared that if I let her stay she won’t want to be with me, won't see me as her "people", won't want to come home with me or be a miserable dog when she does. What if she feels that I gave her up, deserted her?

Shall I be selfish and fetch her the last weekend in November or shall I let her stay until the beginning of February? I know I have to make a decision this weekend. It should be a easy choice but it isn’t.

A giant step forward towards a new kitchen

Yesterday I bought a new stove.

Today I have ordered my new kitchen and it’s estimated to be delivered on the 19th of November.

Tomorrow another part will be done and that is probably the hardest one. Stella will be leaving me for some time with my parents. Hopefully I can go and pick her up just before Christmas or around New Year.

Next week I’ll talk to the constructor and then order floor, tiles and wallpaper.

Shame on me

I had given myself a promise that I shouldn’t buy any new cookbooks before my kitchen was done. I have today broken that promise. No, I didn’t get Nigella Lawson’s Christmas as they keep putting the release forward. However I did get the two other Nigella Lawson’s that I don’t have and that I’m sure won’t come out in Swedish: “How to be an domestic goddess” and “How to eat”. And blushing I have to admit that Julia Child’s Mastering the art of French cooking sort of joined the other two in the cart.

Good thing I had the kids with me

I took the kids to the cinema yesterday. The kids are my niece and her two cousins. Let’s say it was stressful to start with, not that it was the kids though. The queue to the popcorn was really long, and it stopped moving at one point. So I changed when they opened a new cashier. Only to see that they one I had stood in started to move again ….

After having our tickets torn I realised that I had forgotten what I had got for myself on the counter.

We managed to enter our seats in time.

The movie “Up” was really good and I recommend it. However I don’t recommend what happened afterwards. I dropped my purse!! Luckily for me I had two of the kids behind me and they spotted it. Relief.

It seems that every time I take these three to the cinema I manage to keep their things together and counted for but not my own.

What a movie can do

As some may know I love cookbooks, not only to use but also for inspiration. For the past year I haven’t really added to my collection, for many reasons that I’m not going to go in on.
But …

I have just come back from the cinema after have seen “Julie and Julia”. It was absolutely a wonderful, feel-good movie and I hope you get a chance to see it. It did however also create a craving in me:

I need Julia Child’s cookbook!!!

It’s not that I’m particular fond of French food or have a disarer to bone a duck. It’s just that I need it. I’m sure there isn’t a picture in it that will inspire me and I know that I sometimes find it hard to use a recipe in English but still

I need "Mastering the Art of French Cooking"!!!

While doing the laundry

Living in a flat I guess one can either have her/his own washing-machine or use the laundry room. I use the laundry as it's so nice to get everything dry at once and the space in the bathroom is really to small for a washing-machine. Any way while being there a small musing poped up:
Why is everything placed so high up? I mean, and not that short with my 168 cm and get I h ave to strech up so I can see where I pour the powder and softner, not to mention if I need to use the washing-lines. Even when I'm pulling the sheets I have to reach up to fasten them. The house is built in late 50's/early 60's. The equipment in the kitchen and bathroom are much lower then they are today so why the hight in the laudry room? Did the housewives during the 60's have high heels while during the laudry?

Musing this morning

What makes one prefer a certain brand? For instance for my facial care and make up I use Lancôme and for perfume Salvador Dali. It's not that I haven't testet anything else, because I have. So what made me go back and stick to these?

However it is probably habit that makes me go to the same shops for cloths and food. Habit and that I get good quality/value for my money. But even here I can see that I pick up certain things: I chose the same brand for my dishes, I chose the same brand for my laundrey .... I'm sure I can make the list very long.

So what is it that makes me prefer one brand before another?

autume

I guess I have to accept that autume is here as it is now, 5.23 am -2C outside and the carwindows and grass are white with frost. And last week it was about 17-20C during the day, don't think we will reach that any more this year.

Thoughts during an evening walk

Walking Stella tonight several things passed my mind. These are some of them:
- yoo hoo, where is everyone? Just as people seemed to pop up as mushrooms in April they have disappeared now. I think the people we met on the track tonight can be counted on my ten fingers. And it’s all because it has turned a bit colder. What did surprise me most was that we didn’t meet any dogs.

- Afternoon tea. There is an inn along the track and it has new owners. On Sunday they start with two things: Sunday roast and Afternoon tea. Now being intolerant to gluten means that this is a treat I can’t have but make an exception for during my London vacations. I love the feeling of being pampered in an exclusive setting. Favourite so far is Savoy. Although the tea wasn’t bad at Brown’s I was disappointed in that they didn’t stick to their dress-code policy. I have decided that I in May shall treat myself to Ritz and their Palm court. From the photos I think it feels “cold” but who knows, it might just be a very pleasant surprise. As for Stora Vall’s Afternoon tea – well, I have to say I’m tempted.

- I was in the car when the news where read. Something horrified me and I still can’t understand it. A 10 year old girl was raped by three boys not older than 14, during a recess. Four lives destroyed. And where were the adults? I can remember how I was at 10 and at 14. I don’t I even would have had the thought. It chocking how the world has and is changing.

- Last night I found out that my favourite cowboy has got frontal dementia. As I do one part of the dementia investigations for the healthcare centres I work for I have had the opportunity to learn/study a lot about the disease dementia. In my opinion frontal dementia is amongst the worst as your personality is in the frontal lob. I have seen and heard about people who have been very well-behaved, almost boring turn into violent beasts, elderly women suddenly starting to get a very foal language. I really can’t express my respect to “my” cowboy’s wife. She is a strong, a very strong woman from what I can understand from the information I have been provided. However my cowboy will always be who he was when I fell in love with on a Friday evening so so many years ago, as he dreamingly talked about Willow Springs. His smile, his glittering eyes, his right hook, his zest for life etc. There are so many things to remember him by.

Berlin

Earlier this year we "walked" to Prague and we did well so when it was time for another competition I asked the others if they wanted to take part. 5 said Ok and we have formed 2 teams: "Walk the Line" and "Walk of Life". This means there is much more at stake than before. Hold you thumbs that "Walk the Line" will pass Berlin first!!

As prepared I can be

Tomorrow at this time I'll know if I'll be getting a new kitchen or not as I have an appointment at my bank in the morning.

I have done a layout. I have picked out floor, tiles and units. I have done a budget. I have checked over and over for costs that might turn up during the travel and then added some extra money. I have checked with a broker what the starting bid would be on my flat.

In a sence I'm not afraid of not being granted the loan, it's more if the cost per month will be more than I feel I can handle and I have to back off.

what shall I write about?

I promised myself once that if I was going to keep a blogg I was also going to post regularly, otherwise there was no use of it. I seem to be breaking my promise now and then. It's not that I don't lack things to write about. At least not when I'm thinking of what to write and sometimes things just pop up. It just seems that when I sit down to type, it's all gone. So these past few weeks several subjects have come up and lets see if there is anything useful amongst them today:

That I have made a complete fool out of myself ? Is that something to write about? Nah, besides that it happened a week and half ago I'm sure nothing good will come out of it so why dig deeper into it.

My kitchen? Nah, I'm sure that before it is in place you will be sick and tired about the subject anyway, so I'll save that subject for later.

Stella, my favourite subject. Well, she is up for loan right now but please send her back to me in a few weeks time when her heat is over.

Indian Summer? It was a smashing day yesterday, it really was. I won't deny that. And after a cold morning it was so refreshing to be in a t-shirt. Oh, if it would just had lasted!

Books? Books is wonderful subject. It can be discussed in many ways and for many reasons. For me two things pop up: the review list and Nigella Lawson. Let's start with the last one first. Nigella Lawson is my favourite TV-chef and I just love her cook-books (and yes, I do use them too). When I was in London last November the Christmas book had just been released. I don't know how many times I picked it up. Two reasons made me put it down every time: the weight and that I have her other cook-books (nearly all that is) in Swedish. And to be honest it is easier to use a recipe in Swedish than one in English. Laziness I guess. So why are I'm bringing her up now? It's about to be released in Swedish!!!!!! And no, I'm not waiting for Christmas to get it, I'm going to buy it as soon as I can. Then I'm going to start dreaming that her first two will turn up at a translators table, or I just might have to get them in English. I have to admit that cook-books to me are not just a cook-book. It is so much more. I love looking in them, dreaming etc. I also have to admit that even if I claim to collect them it has been sometime since I got a new one so even if the subject is Christmas I don't care, that book is mine!!!!The first thing was the book review. I have read several books about the Victorian era and the wild west. I done some reviews on them, poorly but they are done. It has been ready for posting for sometime but what keeps me from doing it? Perhaps it s that I know that I don't give the books the credit they should have. I have just skimmed through (opps!) a few. Why is hard to say? Were they bad? Don't know. The written language? Well, here I have to admit that even if I think my English isn't too bad, at least one of the books were at sometime hard to follow. But still, the book reviews are written and still spending time in my computer.

One step closer ….

Today I took a step, a huge step, closer to a new kitchen. Today the craftsman was here and gave me an estimated price of what it would cost to have it done. I have estimated the price of the equipments so ....

All I have left is to pick out the tiles and floor I want before I can have my “little” chat with the bank.

Until then enjoy my newest decoration at home – just need some nice battery-run
candles.

(By the way, Stella thinks I’m nuts for carrying home rocks and rowan-berries)

What pops into your head when you see these?

In Trelleborg’s citypark there are 6 statues that trigger my imagination. The money that bought these was donated by a woman who worked as a secretary when she passed away. I really love them and feel that I want to share them with you.

Perhaps they can get your imagination runing wild as well!!!

Stella and her toys

Stella has never care much about squeaky toys and these days not so much about soft toys either. What she does like are toys where there are treats involved. It started with Easter eggs and continued with a Kong sent to her from a friend of mine in US. After that I got her two of these and a couple of similar ones.

These I can find them every where except where I put them. As they keeps her busy when I’m off to work I don’t mind filling them up with treats each evening after a search for them (under bed, sofas etc).

I started to look for something else to keep her mind busy while I’m gone. And earlier this year I found some toys created by Nina Ottosson (http://www.ninaottosson.se/) at the Pet store. Not knowing if Stella would like it or what to do with it I got her a level one toy called “Dog smart”.

A piece of cake. Actually I have passed it on to Ceasar.
So I got her another one during my holiday. It was suppose to be a 2-3 and called Dog Brick.

With in a day she had figured out that if she got rid off the white “boxes” that was placed in the middle all she had to do was to get the brown things pushed towards her to get to the treats hidden under it.

So I went for something else: The Tornado. According to the saleswoman in the pet shop it would be a challenge, that would take her some time to solve. Not for my girl. Few hours after I brought it home it was solved.

Starting to give up I got my four legged girl a graded3 toy: Dog Casino. It was a toy that she wasn’t supposed to solve by just using her claws. She was supposed to bite and lift the pale blue bones up to be able to get the boxes opened. Now Stella solved the problem in another way. She figured out that if she “hits it” hard on the corner it will would “jump up” a little and after doing so few times the blue things would start to leave the hole, and then she could scratch them off.

And if that don’t work, you can always try to pull the box out with force.

But her favourite game is:

“Where are those minks?”

Holiday is over and it's back to reality

I think I have had the best vacation I had for a long time and it was probably perfect due to the circumstances in my life just now. I can't say I really did anything but doing so I have to admit I did do some things. I went to a few city walks (2 by bus) and a few museums. I had my eyes checked out and needed new glasses, this time progressive ones. Stella and I started each day with a very long walk, spent time together. I enjoyed my balcony, even had lunch on it. The tempo these four weeks were slow and that was what I needed. I have during the holiday figured out, well a little, how my sleep is. It's very light and it has been episodes where I have heard Stella but I haven't been a wake, I haven't been able to open my eyes. Odd feeling.

Now being back at work, and the pace there is slow right now, I'm feeling worse again. Not as bad as before but still. The tiredness is gradually extent ending and I don't seem to get things done. Well, besides a long walk with Stella after work I might have the energy to do one more thing.

On the bright side and to end this in a better mood:

- I have a trip to Skåne coming. It's time for Sofiero Garden Show and I really want to find some new Hoyas. This time I'm thinking of getting samples of the more expensive kind and there for a bit more rare. I am going to visit my parents too.

- I have booked a hotel room in London for May next year. I haven't been there in May since I worked there as an au-pair in 1984. I want to fulfil another of my dreams and visit Chelsea Flower Show and next year it's planed to be between 25-29th of May. Plans for what else to do is already turning up in my head.

- I have started to plan for the new kitchen too.

I do have some enjoyable and happy things coming. And memories of Stella and me on a picnic.

Feeling like a bad friend

One thing that is on the list (if my memory is correct) I wrote when I started this blogg was that I wanted to be a better friend and keep in contact with those I have and love. I still lack on this really bad. Some still get to wait for the reply of their mail and some I don't even know when I was in contact with the last time. It's really terrible. It doesn't get any better that I took a decision at the beginning of the summer that I shouldn't be on the computer that much as I normally am. It was taken after what happened in May and that I felt I needed to keep a distance to all "must do things" and I'm afraid mails where placed in that catagory.

It's not that I don't think about them. It doesn't go a day without my thought of them and yet the distance between thinking and doing seems wide like an ocean. I can only hope that they know I care.

Well, right now I'm trying to catch up and I guess that is why I really feel bad for neglecting my friends.

the badger

Today a very small news article caught my eye. Afterwards I had a smile on my lips.
It was from Germany. Some drivers had called in that a dead badger some laying on the road and the police went there to get rid of it. Once there they realized that the badger was drunk. It had been festing on some overriped fermented cherries. It had after the fest dragged himself out on the road and collapsed. Ok, this is not fun, for the animal, that is. Here comes the fun part. The police wrote in the incident report: "It is not known whether the badger got in trouble with his wife when he returned home in that state. ;)

I guess Stella liked picnicing

Due the warm weather Stella and I been to the park for a few outings. I have picked places where she has been able to study her surroundings aka people, dogs and birds. Yesterday we also had a picnic. Now I don’t know if it was that or something else but today when we were walking in the park that was where she wanted to walk to. In fact when I said no since I didn’t have any blanket, she started to stall. It was a very slow walk back home, a very slow walk. Yesterday when we left the park she did the same thing and a couple of old ladies stopped me and told me to give the dog some water. 20 m later the "poor dog" didn’t have any problems chasing doves.

So tomorrow Stella is going to get her picnic.

Am I worth less?

Last week I read a “letter” in a magazine. From what I gather it had also been up on the magazine’s discussion forum. It was from a woman that had been told that she was less adult because she didn’t haven any children. Most of the answers were yes. Anyway this question has been on my mind now and then during the week and I’m still wondering:
Can I really be less worth as an adult just because I haven’t given birth to a child?
What does it mean to be an adult?
What is the different between me and someone that do have children when it comes to being an adult?
When do you consider being an adult?

Any way I still don’t have any answer but I sure don’t feel I’m worth less.

Weather God and IKEA

I’m really starting to wonder if there is someone ”up there” that really dislikes it when Annelie and I are going to IKEA together. Last time in February it had come about 20 cm of heavy snow and the roads were for once in bad condition. Here in Gävle they are otherwise quick to plough the roads but not this time. Today it has been raining all day, in fact it started already during the night. And it’s not just a small drizzle, it really pouring down. Needless to say I got wet while hurrying to her car (and I had an umbrella), we got wet when we hurried over the parking lot and we got wet when hurrying back.

Selling news

Here in Sweden it seems that our so called “evening papers” have to add something to get the attention. Most often it has been DVDs and at a few occasions books. It’s an interesting phenomenon. I know that some people only can buy on of the papers due to political preference but do they too go over the boarder for a goodie?

I have to admit I do fall for the goodies sometime. I have the first season of Midsomer Murder, Planet Earth set of 5 DVD, National geographic 5 DVD, Disney Treasures 8 DVDs and the cookbooks. As they often give the first one for free I also have them. Right now I could have if I bought every item collect: Lonely Planets travelling guides in Swedish (London was free, not that good), Wallander with Rolf Lassgård in the leading roll, Lynley and CD with different Swedish groups. New for this week were the Sopranos and A world at war. While the first was nothing for me the other one is so I guess I’m in for it again. For another 11 weeks I simply will be buying Expressen once a week.

Sweet and spicy

For 20 long weeks I bought a cookbook every week that followed one of our “evening” newspapers. The series covered food from Italy (2 books), Sweden(2 books), USA, Southeast Asia, South America, France, Greece, Spain, Russia, Japan & Korea, China, Caribbean, Africa, Central east (?), baked, desserts and barbequed. Wonderful books with recipes on different difficult levels. The food on the pictures looked delicious. I have to admit some also had ingredients I have never heard off.

However being a chocoholic there was one recipe that really caught my eye and my taste buds. It was a cake with chocolate and chilli. Now I have had that as ice-cream and loved it so I was eager to try the recipe. It is just that I know myself very well and if a bake something I’ll eat it all in a day or two. Not good in other words. An occasion was there for needed and my birthday was the one. I had got everything for the cake when I called my brother. It turned out that they came the same day there for no chocolate and chilli cake. Still having the ingredients I decided that it was going to be made and that I would take it to work.

So…

Yesterday I made it!

Now I’m in the dilemma: shall I taste it before taking it to work or shall I hope that it’s edible?

Cute and so useful

I got such a wonderful little pig from my friends in Burr Ridge. And he is so useful too since he is a watering-can. A watering-can I don’t want to put in the cupboard when not in use. Check out the tail, it wiggles when you touch it or hold the can since it’s done by a spring.

I love my plants and now I’m sure I’m going to love taking care of them even more.

Flowers on a special day

Right now I’m enjoying the most beautiful flower arrangement. They are gifts from people I care about deeply for. My friends Linda and Tom sent me a large arrangement last year but this year it was even bigger! The colour of the orchid is stunning, I really like the deep purple and it is so well matched with the dark grey pot, stones and the other plants. It’s so heavy that I feared I’d drop it.

The roses are made of some cloth which means they will always look so lovely and as they do add to make the arrangement to what it is I’m happy for that beacuse they couldn't be replaced.

Beside the pot arrangement I have two lovely bouquets. One is from my dear parents. I have to admit I had the opportunity to pick it out myself.

The other one is from my colleagues from work and was a total surprise.

What can I say – with this beauty given to me – how can I feel anything but loved and blessed?

I also want to thank everyone else that made my Friday so special: Maggan, Annelie, Petra, Micke, Christina, Emma and Jacob. And I do know a very special box is coming my way from Burr Ridge.

The past two weeks had been rough and I am well aware that this ride isn’t over yet but Friday was a day of hope, warmth and friendship.

Movies

Lately I have missed a few movies, not because I haven’t had time to go. The reason has been the way they have been “treated” by the cinema. The movies I have wanted to see have been “The state of play” with Helen Mirror and “The Boat that Rocked” with Bill Nightly. Why did I miss them? Shortly after they have had their premier they have been moved to a very late, well very late for that is, showing. I just don’t go the movies at 9 pm. I guess the DVD dealer will be a little pleased as I with no doubt will buy the movies. I still can’t believe that they place two movies with so much advertising at that viewing time.

So…

Tonight not to miss another movie I’m going to a sneak premier as the ordinary viewing will be at either 3.30 pm or 9.15 pm. Considering as it is “A night in the museum 2” I should go to the late viewing but I’m not the one paying for a movie and then sit and yawn through it. And as it always takes some time after wards to relax and I’ll have to take Stella for a walk it will be ever so late before I can crawl down between my sheets.

Wonder what time they will show “Ice age 3” and “Harry Potter” at?

I have become a foster parent again

I have adopted a tiger and a polar bear.

I’m a sort of person that sometimes it takes me a long time to actually come into action. For months I duelled on supporting these animals or not. It’s not a huge sum each month in large but to me it could mean a big difference at the end of the month. In the end I did decide that it was worth it. In fact I felt it was either them or another foster child or being a so called world parent. The animals “won”. I felt it would be such a loss if they disappeared from the earth just because us Homo sapiens. (And you got such cute soft animals. They are absolutely darlings)

Checking the web side for World Wide Fund, http://www.wwf.org I have learned so much more about the organisation and now feel that perhaps I should get more involved. Hmm, I have done something thou. I wrote to the Swedish branch since I didn’t know where else I could send my suggestion. I have glanced through the shop department. There where many nice things. As I just had read one of my cross-stitch magazines and the charity things people sew for I got an idea and sent it. Why not sell specially produced kits? I gave the name of my favourite designer who has done several cross-stitch books with wild animals. I also pointed out that I didn’t think it would be a huge success here but in UK and USA I could see kits being sold. And I ended the mail telling where they should advertise to reach us cross-stitch maniacs. I got an answer almost strait away, saying that they would take it under consideration so if they do turn up remember who came with the idée!

Now I think I shall start thinking about supporting the jungle (big apes) and the panda projects that is on the list here in Sweden or check if I can adopt a grey wolf off USA list (that contains over 90 species compared to the few on the Swedish and UK lists).

Hedgehogs

A sign of summer has come. On Thursday I and Stella saw the first two hedgehogs and yesterday we saw one more. Well, the one from yesterday is probably one from Thursday. Anyway they were large and saw well feed for such an early state.

In the park Stella and I take our evening walks the owl sounds. Last autumn I saw a fox with in a few meters. I hope he/she turns up again, just so that I know it survived the winter. People have seen a badger not far from where I live.

What can I say? We have such wildlife in the middle of the city.

Carema Rehab has arrived in Prague

This morning when the boys started to add their steps done during the weekend the team past the “finishing” line. Three of us have passed Prague, two were just outside. Then we have a few trailing behind but the prognosis is that they will pass the line before the 30th may.
I have got a price for when you arrive in Prague and I have something “up my sleeve” for the 30th.

I have entered the 21 st century

Today I have bought my first own mobile phone, a Sony Ericsson W980 with lots of things I do not know what to do with. I did however get a great deal on it, besides a much reduced prize I also don’t have to pay the subscriber fee for this month. And to take another steep into the world I have also gotten myself a mobile broadband.

And boy, what a difference

Now I just need a new computer and …
That is on its way to as I have found what I want (I think). I just have to deside if I shall buy it over the net and just pick it up or go out to SIBA and have a closer checkup first. Better prize on line.

The agony of buying cloths

Due to the new of a new pair of jeans I today had to face on of my horrors: The trying-on rum. But before even getting so far you have to find what you might want and accept the fact that the ones you really like are not in your seize. Then comes the moment when you have to try on the things you have picked out as a likely choice.

In a tight space with mirrors showing every bit of your body and a not very flattering light you have to undress. And it never – or at least for me – fails that it doesn’t fit so well. So out of the now cramped room with cloths and out to look for a larger size. A larger size proving that you gained some weight. This time not even the larger size fit as it turned out I needed a size in between. There are no half sizes in cloths, there should be I think. The choice now stands between the smaller size with a thigh fit over the butt and the larger with several cm extra at the top and a little too much under the butt. This time I felt that I might as well “take the bull by its horns” and buy the larger size. The LARGER size!!!

It doesn’t matter that I also made a bargain and got one pair for 99 kronor.

I have reached Prague

Today, a month after the step competition started, I have reached and passed Prague. I have walked 611,2 km since 11th of March. I’m now turning towards Paris passing via Poland, Germany, Austria, Italy and then via Lyon up towards Paris. All in all that will be 1825 km. Some might say that since I have finished I could quit but for the team it’s really important that I and Jessika, who made it earlier this week, continue on. The team, as it looks today won’t be in Prague until 30th of April.

So it’s still ….

These legs are made for walking

Two more lovely days

As boring as it may seem I’m going to continue on the past blogg’s theme

The sun is still honouring us with its presence. It has been a bit windy but it doesn’t matter. Hopefully I’ll have gotten some colour, besides my freckles, in my face. Otherwise I guess it will have to be a meeting with the solarium when I get home.

Yesterday we hade a wonderful walk along the beach. Ceaser got a chance to take this years second bath and he run along the sand. Unfortunate Stella can’t run free. To let her go means coming home (worse scenario) without a dog. Being a trained hunting dog has its disadvantages. However Stella didn’t seem to mind and her leech is 3 m long. She did get her paws wet as she and I stood at the shore the waves came in. She even tried to drink some water but the Baltic Sea weren’t too tasty. The sound of the wave hitting the shore, the scent of wet sand and seaweed and the calmness were so smoothing.

Today we took a walk at the Falsterbo peninsula. Part of the walk went along the edge of the nature reserve towards the golf club were we had a cup of coffee/tea and the way back along the edge of the sand dunes. It was windy, very windy. Being a public holiday today a lot of people were out, both on the golf fields and on the paths. In Falsterbo are the famous (at least here in Sweden) private bathing-huts. Due to nature some have been buried in the sand and some fallen down. Still they do make a very special horizon towards the sea. Fresh fish was bought before going home.

The pictures are found on the internet.

We have had a lovely spring day

We have been for a long walk in the forest near Svaneholm Castle. I admit there where parts that were a bit muddy but coming from snowy and icy Gävle, well anything is better than that. A forest here isn’t what I would consider as a forest normally. One thing they have here in Skåne and not anywhere else in Sweden (wild) is a forest consisting of beech-trees. It’s something magic walking among them. And I know that in a few weeks time it will be even more magical when the leaves start to show.

In Gävle the colt’s foots have just started to show its yellow flower. Here that period has passed and there patches of wood-anemone. The white flower is truly a sign of spring.

Other signs of spring are seeing a swan laying in its nest and a couple of frogs copulate (they were almost stepped on by me). In the park the peacocks are fighting over the lady peacocks. There were even a turkey challenging a peacock or the other way around, I didn’t see who started it. As the peacock fled up on the stage I guess the turkey won.

Sometimes Sweden is an amazing country

As Stella and I travelled down to visit my parents today I sat looking out from the train window. Normally I would sleep some of the trip but for some reason Stella was worried and couldn’t settle down. I guess it was caused by us having a different place and therefore were over the wheels.

The trip started in a surrounding that contained snow to slowly change to a shade of green. The farmers were busy in their fields, driving their tractors up and down in strait rows. The light green colour came from the wheat planted last autumn. The cows were out in the fields too, and so were the horses.

I watched the lakes, rivers and the red/white houses so typical for Sweden pass by. We went trough several small towns where the national trains don’t stop any more, just the local once.

I saw things I have never seen before (perhaps because I sleep) and I realised:

I live in a wonderful country!

more snow

I was so disappointed when I woke up this morning. Another 3 cm snow had fallen during the night and it was, and still is, snowing. It was once again down to -7 and windy.
I have just had enough right now.

The only good thing ist that I get to practice my winter driving but honestly I could be without that too.

snow

It's still snowing, as it has all night. Where did the spring go?

My mummy has disappointed me this week

Twice, yes, twice has my mummy really disappointed me this week. Thursday morning I saw that she was packing a bag with cloths and things from the bathroom. Of cause I though I was coming with her. I danced, sang for her and my tail wagged for her. Guess how I felt when she got out some of my special treats and I realized that I wasn’t. I sat there and hoped she felt really bad for letting me stay home. It didn’t matter a thing that she had asked to of my favourite people to take me out during the day. Then came Friday morning …

When we were out before she has to leave me along I found a lovely frozen mouse. I managed to dig it out without mummy noticing. I think she was busy keeping an eye out for the dog that was running loose (lucky fellow). I walked nicely home with my catch and got all the way home before she noticed that I had something in my mouth. She made me drop it. With an Usch! she kicked it outside. I tried to show her that I wanted it back, I even looked for it when we went out for lunch. My lovely catch was gone.

Well, she has tried to make it up though. She has taken me for some nice walks. She has let me dig in the snow. I had so much fun when I was digging, using both my claws and teeth. With the result I guess using my teeth wasn’t a good thing. When mummy noticed that I was bleeding she decided that it was enough. Ok, she did fry a large batch of liver in butter and with some spices. I like liver even if I don’t understand why she has to fry it. It’s really nice as it is.

All in all I guess mummy starts tomorrow on zero

Spring is here – I think

For a few days it has been sunny and warm. The wind has been calm. The swans have arrived to the river. There is also another bird that normally turns up when spring is around the corner.

BUT

It has also been snowing – like right now. During the nights it’s cold and below zero.

Stella and I have started to explore the area around Kungsbäck. We don’t have many options as I don’t have a car. I know that our walk normally takes 2-2½ hour but as Stella and I like to walk neither of us will mind a longer walk – if it’s worth it. Last week I found a map and we started to try a road but it was getting dark so I decided against continuing it. Saturday we went along another road, a road that was a circle so that we would return to where we started. We walked and walk and came to bunch of houses. On my map there were not houses. We continue but my guts told me something where wrong. I stopped a man out walking his dogs. All he really could tell me was that I was outside the map (like I hadn’t figured that out) and that he didn’t know how I should walk to get where I wanted. He walked much faster that Stella and myself and quickly disappeared out of my sight as we started to walk back the same way. Guess who we met … the man with the dogs. I told Stella that he had probably gone the way we should have gone.

Today we did another try only we took another way to get there. The weather was wonderful and we started to walk along a very snowy road since not many cars had gone there. After a while we reached the road we walked on yesterday and there we met one of the nurses that work at one of the health care centres. He told us that we were on the right way and how to get where we were heading. He also told us about several other walkabouts in the area, some very long but he said they were worth it.

So I guess that we have some walking a head of us in the country side.

An update

I am in Germany!!!!! I have passed Wittstock. During this week I have walked 145 km. I haven’t done anything differently from what I normally do so I guess I do a lot of km every week. Instead I would say that I have had two days at work where I spent a lot of time on my butt.

However I have learned one thing this week and that is that I walk much more during the weekdays than during weekends. I didn’t know that. I always thought it was the other way around. Perhaps having a vacation around Easter isn’t such a good thing, competition vice that is.

Anyway here are the current results. Now have in mind that most update their result the morning after and it’s now Tuesday evening.
The team lay in 66th position with 81 km done. On the individual list I am currently in 46 th position.

All in all 2088 teams are participating meaning that 11539 people are walking around with a tiny box at their hip. So I really think we are doing good.

An update

I am in Germany!!!!! I have passed Wittstock. During this week I have walked 145 km. I haven’t done anything differently from what I normally do so I guess I do a lot of km every week. Instead I would say that I have had two days at work where I spent a lot of time on my butt.

However I have learned one thing this week and that is that I walk much more during the weekdays than during weekends. I didn’t know that. I always thought it was the other way around. Perhaps having a vacation around Easter isn’t such a good thing, competition vice that is.

Anyway here are the current results. Now have in mind that most update their result the morning after and it’s now Tuesday evening.
The team lay in 53 position with 79 km done
On the individual list I am currently in 61 position.

All in all 2088 teams are participating meaning that 11539 people are walking around with a tiny box at their hip.

Eurovision song contest

Once up on a time there was only one program and I found it interesting. This show lost my attention when SVT decided that it was a show that was going to travel to several cities. That was a few years ago and they are still doing that. This year it has apparently been a duel between songs and from each program 2 songs have gone directly and 2 to a “second chance”. I haven’t seen one of them but I decided to watch the final yesterday as it would probably be a subject discussed at work tomorrow.

I do admit the quality and variation of songs were surprisingly good and I did enjoy it. (ouch that hurt to admit) The two top songs were also my favourite which is also a surprise. They were both different towards the others songs. So who won?

A very famous opera singer called Marlena Ernman! Her song was a combination of opera and pop. The bad news today is that she already has an appointment that day! What? Don’t they check things like this before competing?

Nr 2 said in the paper today that she was happy that she didn’t win since her record company is so small that if they had won they would have gone broke. Why bother to take part in the competition? I know, the publicity for the song and company.

Me again - Stella

I decided to write tonight again. Mummy forgot to close the laptop, hihi. She never does that when she leaves me alone anymore, wonder why?

Today she decided that we should try some new road to the forest. I guess that it would have been alright if she had known which way we were going to take. She didn’t. She had a map and yet we walked the wrong way. She blamed it on the map as it didn’t show where the path went. O boy! Blaming a piece of paper!

Anyway we did get to the forest. Now she took out the map again and told me that there were several roads that we hadn’t walked and that we should try. She said I might see something interesting. So we start walking along a snowy road. I tell you – no cars had gone down that road for a long time. As I guessed mummy didn’t let me go where the interesting stuff was. She pulled me back on to the so called road. After a while we reached a stop but a small path done by other dogs with their mums and dads. We started on it but mummy got the shivers and decided that we should turn back and take our usual way. She chickened out! This time it wasn’t the maps fault, this time she blamed the weather and it was getting darker and she didn’t want to walk in the forest when it got dark. Promised we would try the road some other time. Not sure I believe it though.

Opps, she is returning. Talk to you later.

It started so well

This day started so beautiful. The sky was clear blue, no wind, the snow was glittering and the sun was actually warm. It was spring in the air. People smiled. Stella was at her best. Well … that was until we were heading home. She constantly finds new ways to stall. Today it was coughing. This afternoon was pretend to pee.

This afternoon the weather turned. It got grey, damp and the fog got thicker and lower for every step we took. And so did my mood, not to mention the dog owners and joggers we met in the park. To make it even worse the lovely sun had melted a lot ice so it was wet and muddy.

I guess that this just shows how important the weather is for ones well being.

Pang!!!

“And first team leaving the starting line is from Carema Rehab. They are pulsing through the snow towards Prague…. Will they make it? Ouch! The first fall! How many victims will the icy road claim? Whew, she quickly up on her feet again, catching up what she lost.” :)

Tomorrow the walking competition starts. Starting point is Malmö with Trelleborg as the next city. And 606 km later we will arrive in Prague. My competitive comrades and, I have to admit even myself, have tested the step counters. I know for instance that Stella’s and my long winter time walk is about 13 200 steps. I do, on a day that I sit a lot or drive to my patients, about 10 000 steps etc. I get to convert my 105 minutes of yoga every Wednesday into 60 steps/minute. I am in good faith that I shall make it to Prague if nothing happens the next three months. I’m sad to say that one of us is not taking part in this. I tried to convince her by saying that we do a lot of walking at work and she didn’t need to do any more but no. :(

So these legs are made for walking ….

Conference

Thursday I went to a conference in Stockholm that was about Dementia. My morning started at four since I had to have breakfast and take Stella for a walk before boarding the train at 7. And I didn’t enter my front door until 7.30 pm. A long day!

I went to last year’s conference and it was so good that when I saw the program I knew I just had to go. Several of the papers where about the testing equipment I have and it’s always interesting to find out what the latest studies say about them. We were also the first to hear about a study that had just finished at the end of February. It was about Lewy Body dementia. Just think of Don Quixote and you will a good picture of that type of dementia. Beside Frontal dementia (change of personality) I think that must be the worst type as your physic also is affected and before the dementia affects you.

Something that hit me was that I have probably worked to long in this business as I knew several of the medical firms represent that were their. I know it is nice to meet them but I almost go a déjà vu from a few weeks ago when I went to the homepage education and I was the one who was an inventory with my 8 years in the company. Any way the medical firms had plenty of candy and I did some information and material I needed.

It’s probably a bad thing to say but I really enjoy my work that involves the investigation concerning if a person has dementia or if it is something else.

My turn

While mummy is looking at the TV I decided to give this a try. I hate this machine, when mummy sits by it she always says that she needs to use both hands. I really don’t know why. I use one paw and have no problems at all.

I am going to tell you all about today. First of all it takes forever to get mummy up. I mean I started just after she turned of the clock radio and I had to try several times until it at least had gone 2 hours. I’m nice to her when I try to wake up, I guess that is why it takes so long. Perhaps I should bite her instead or make her bed?

When I finally got up she had the nerve to sit by the computer for a while. Hey!! I wanted to go out and check what had happened during the night. It took her forever to get dress. I really can’t understand why she has to have so many things on her. Today it was only -15. Ok, I admit it was cold and I got some cramps in my back legs. Mummy helped me loosen them up and blew some warm air on my paws.

I looked for my bird friends but they weren’t playing in the stream today. I guess it was too cold for them too. I saw them yesterday, they tease me by flying just in front of me. I nearly did catch a wild duck when mummy looked another way though. In the forest I got the trace of something wonderful, a wild animal. I even saw where it had walked but mummy held my leash too hard for me to run off. That is one thing I haven’t understood since I came here. I could help her, see to we have some nice meat at home, I’m trained for it but does she let me? No, she just takes a harder hold on my leash, sometimes she even pulls me some other direction. If I only wore a collier instead of a harness!

Sometimes I don’t like her. That’s when I can scent or see a handsome male. What’s the purpose of being in the heat if I can’t get to meet a male? Fabian preferred mummy last time I saw him, just because she has biscuits in her pockets. Oskar is too old these days and I haven’t seen him for a while. The other males around here are so small. Today I saw a berner sennen and a flat coated retriever. They were both really handsome. The other evening there was a nice tollare (don’t know what they are called in English) in my park. Mummy just embarrasses me by telling their people that I’m in the heat.

We have had a calm day. I like it when I know where I have my mummy. She has been sawing. I like that because when I go to get a cuddle she puts it aside. That is why I would never do anything to her sewing. This thing however I do not like.

We have been for walks. When we got home after our evening walk she made some dinner for us but I didn’t like what she gave me. Well, I do like chicken, just not today. I’ll just chew on my “chew” and my bone.

Tomorrow when mummy is at work I hope she forgets to close the lid of this think. Then I can play with it again. Just wonder which keys I’m going lift up this time?

Better go now, looks like mummy wants to go out for a pee before bedtime.

Stella

I have too much wind in my life

Thursday I finally had my Ayurveda health consultation. It was interesting but the result mean a big change has to be done especially in the food department.

My body was compared with a fire. It needs logs to burn, wind to start but if you either put to much logs or wind it will shut down. I apparently have too much wind, heck I’m blowing full storm.

I’m a Vata person but I have to honest. When I read the description of that kind of person I definitive can’t see myself. Slender? What a joke!!
Find out more here:
http://www.ayurbalance.com/explore_vata.htm
This one is better and fits better on me:
http://www.holisticonline.com/ayurveda/ayv-vata-characterisitics.htm


So what will happen? I have got a few yoga practices that I need to do everyday, I need to do Yoga Nidra at least 3 times a week and I need to meditate every day. I can do that!
The hardest part will be in the food department. I’m not suppose to eat anything that have been frozen, been warmed in the micro or is cold. Cheese and bananas are in the past. Sugar too.

I need to eat a hot meal at lunch time and rest 10 min. Lunch is the most important meal for me, not dinner as today. I have been in contact with my boss and instead of having to put 30 min extra on each day (I seem to never be ready to go home at 16.30) I’ll take 1½ hours lunch instead. I’m not it’s going to work but I’ll give it a try. Even a couple days per week will be a success right now. I can drink 2 cups of my beloved black tea after that herbal tea is prefered. " Tea" hot water during the day

I’m going to get everything in writing from Mattias which is a good thing for beside the things I have mentioned I can’t remember anything. Well, one more thing I do remember and that is how blank my mind went when he asked me what I did cook. I’m going to get some recipes too which is excellent as I’ll be doing food that I have never tried before.

So here I go!! A new life awaits around the corner!

Tired

I am just so extremely tired both physical and mentally right now. Today just walking for 10 minutes made me wonder if I would make it home during Stella’s and my morning walk. I did, in fact I managed to walk for 2½ hours on pure stubbiness and for Stella’s wellbeing.

The hardest part to accept is that when I’m this tired I don’t get anything done at home, heck I really don’t get anything done unless I absolutely have to (Stella’s wellbeing and work being the two major ones). I just sit.

Another huge problem is that my mind races around in different directions and doesn’t stay for very long in any of them. Often it returns to things that have happened in the past and that I can’t change. Things that in fact can have had a positive effect later but perhaps could have been handled a bit better. Nothing can stop it. Yoga can but only for the moment I’m doing it and that is because I have to concentrate so hard to get everything right. My dreams are really weird right now. I keep waking up which means I don’t get enough sleep which certainly doesn’t help the situation.

I don’t get much sewing done, I can’t concentrate to read books and since yesterday my walks are getting disturbed too.

I try really hard to think of positive things but right now not even that works. I try to think of the blessings I have in my life, doesn’t work.

I have now put a lot of hope that Thursday’s Ayurvera session with Mattias will start the walk up hill again.

And the thought of Stella, well, she is definitive the one that keeps me hanging on to the rope.

25 Beautiful homes

Now and then I buy a British magazine called “25 beautiful homes”. I just love looking at these wonderful places even if they are way out off my reach when it comes to money. Most of the time they make it sound as the homeowner has an ordinary job but when you start to read and study the things they have - well they are not. Or perhaps I should say no one I know would be able to afford those houses and interior.

Yesterday when I did a very quick tour to the cloth shop to get new long johns I popped in to the new agency I get my cross-stitch mags at. No new cross-stitching mags had come but my eye caught the title “25 underbara hem” alias a Swedish version of the British one. I got it hoping to find 25 Swedish homes but boy did I get disappointed. I know we are not a large country but surly should we have homes to fill a magazine? Instead there are exclusive, jepp even more exclusive than in the British version, homes around the world. Homes in London. Paris, New York, Marrakech, Barcelona, Amsterdam and from countries like Bali, Uruguay and Turkey. And to top this lot more adds than the British version. Needless to say I rather pay the 10 kr more, get 74 pages less and get what I want than what I got yesterday. I guess this just proves that the original is always (well nearly) the best.

Ok, done it again!!

Why is it that I can start things I probably will regret later? So what have I done this time?
Yesterday I noticed on my company’s intranet that they had a small notice about a step competition. I asked my boss if she knew anything about it but she didn’t. However if I were interested it was Ok to join. Any way, me being me, I continued today to look for information and so I did. It turned out to be a nationwide team competition. Together the team would have to walk between Stockholm and Prague (figural speaking). So what did I do? Well I send out a messaged to my co-workers wondering if they would want to join. And when I had one more name besides mine I sent a messaged to one of the healthcare centres we have here in Gävle challenging them. My boss was going to tell her staff at the other health care centre. Now since you are allowed to change time into steps in things like bike riding, gym I now have 4 names on my list and I do know at least one more. On Monday when everyone is back at work I’ll have all the names that will join.

Now I work with a group of very competitive people so I don’t know which part is going to be worst: the world wide competition, the one between the three units or the one between us? Competition among us? Believe me there will be one. We OT’s are the ones that don’t have so much competitive spirit but if I have to, beware don’t count this unfit fat OT out.

Think I have to prepare Stella that between the 11 mars and 30 May she will be walking and walking and even more walking? And no shortcuts will be allowed!

Books on my desk

I have spent some money on new books for my collection on the Victorian era and the Wild West. New and new – I often buy the books from other sellers than Amazon etc. Anyway the books I have got so far have made me muse a little.

Full-Colour Victorian Fashions: I gather this is the Hourt Couture that was during 1870 – 1893. Lovely pictures that full of details. There is lace, frills, bows and layers after layers of cloth. Some are really nice, some not. However how practical was these dresses to wear? How much dirt didn’t the train pull in? I guess this is why “ordinary” people never wore them?
Another book that I just glanced through (I am reading “The marriage bureau for rich people” and have to finish that first) is “What Jane Austen ate and Charles Dickens knew. It’s an interesting way of presenting the social stuff every one needed to know by using the litterateur written during the time. The glossary at the end covers much everything you ever wondered about when it comes to England during this time. It clearly shows that the rules of life show in what is written even if that wasn’t the purpose. It makes me wonder what the people of 2100 will think about us when they read the books written today. What on earth will they think of all us who writes fan fictions?

I have got two more books that fascinate me, mostly for all the old photos that are in them. One is bout the San Joaquin Valley, the southern parts but I guess it doesn’t differ that much from north. The other one is an illustrated directory of the old west. I have to admit I haven’t looked at these a lot yet but I will. Hopefully these will give me some inspiration to start writing, these books and the once I bought in London. Hmmm, I think I’m not totally honest here. I am inspired already I just need to find the energy. "Looking for inspiration" is just another bad excuse for not sitting down and gets the words down.

Black plastic bags

It’s strange how ones fantasy can get started and how something can trigger a childhood memory or feeling.

Sunday I went to IKEA and got me dome lovely new bed sheets and towels. I decided that old ones where history and were going to be tossed at once when I got home. Now that didn’t happen since I came and found out that a certain four legged lady had been busy with the laptop.

Today I quickly ran in to the grocery store next to work and got some large black plastic bags all in the intention that tonight it’s going to be done. However I’m having a small problem. Ever since I first started to watch criminal stories on the telly I seem to connect black plastic bags with corpses. I just can’t get that imagine out of my head so now I’m looking at my bag and all the old towels and I just know that when they all are in the bag it’s going to look as a body.

Snow again

While walking home today I started to muse about something my hairdresser and I talked about yesterday. She had been home in UK during the past weekend and couldn’t get back to Sweden due to the bad weather. Apparently 4 cm of snow had created a lot of trouble. The busses didn’t run because they couldn’t get out of the garage, 6 million people didn’t go to work etc. 6 million is almost the Swedish population (I think we have entered 9th). Today we have gotten more than 4 cm and more is said to be on the way. Does everything stop – nope but things have been slowed down in some places. I was at the railway station getting tickets and there where some trains that didn’t run some where very late etc but every one was expected to arrive at their destination at sometime today. However this train situation isn’t exceptional for this kind of weather, believe me. Stella and I arrived over 3 hours late last summer. So what did I muse about – snow shovels, winter outfits, winter tyres, just how to handle the situation and that it wasn’t icy anymore!

But mostly that I would soon be home for dinner, a walk with Stella and then my warm cosy blanket, thick socks and a hot cup of tea!