Saturday, 7 November 2009

Things where going so well

Stella left with my parents last Sunday. She looked at me when they drove off, probably wondering why I wasn’t in the car.

Monday came and I called the constructor. They can’t start on the kitchen until the 18th of January and we who had talked about mid-November. I have mangaged to have the kitchen units arrive in January instead of in a few weeks time. I have seen to that the new stove will be installed when it arrives next week.

But my Stella …

I’m feeling like a terrible mom right now. I sent her away and it wasn’t needed. I feel like I have deserted her. I don’t know if I should fetch her and then take her back to Skåne in January. Should I let her stay? That would mean 3 months away from now. Stella has through my father let me know that she wants to stay. Economical I should let her do that. The train tickets cost a lot. I know Stella isn’t that found of travelling by train even if she never protests when we do so. I know my parents spoil her and she gets to ride in the car. I know my parents would be OK with it.

But I’m not OK! It’s empty, not the same emptiness that have accrued when I lost my other two dogs, it’s different, another kind of emptiness. I feel terrible for washing her blankets and storing her food away (did that Sunday). It feels like I’m getting rid of her. I’m scared that if I let her stay she won’t want to be with me, won't see me as her "people", won't want to come home with me or be a miserable dog when she does. What if she feels that I gave her up, deserted her?

Shall I be selfish and fetch her the last weekend in November or shall I let her stay until the beginning of February? I know I have to make a decision this weekend. It should be a easy choice but it isn’t.
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2 comments:

  1. Pat Wahler8 November 2009 at 02:11

    That's a tough one. Sounds like you need to weigh the pros and cons and then use that as a way to help you decide.

    I sure understand how you feel about being away from Stella for so long, but dogs are adaptable. I'm sure Stella will do well with whatever you do.

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  2. Anonymous8 November 2009 at 13:40

    Oh dear! What a difficult decision for you, my friend! I suppose you cannot get another contractor to do the kitchen for you?

    I think it will be a very long and lonely winter for you if you leave Stella with the folks until February.

    Good luck with making the best decision for you and I know Stella will be fine whatever you decide to do.

    Love and hugs.

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