Ridin’ On Ahead

The title of this post is the title of my dear friend Linda’s award wining story. Why I found it fitting to use it today I’ll get to later.

It has passed a week since Linda peacefully left us after a long time of struggle with poor health. It was easy to tell when Linda wasn’t feeling well or worse than normally. She commended less on the Writing Desk, it was longer between the posts on her blogg, she didn’t answer mail as fast as she usually would do and the most definitive clue when Linda openly admitted that she wasn’t feeling well. It was with great concern I read and reread her description of her heath issues knowing what it could mean but I have to admit that never in my mind could I believe it would shorten her life so soon. It has taken me these days to finally be able to sit down and write as I have been at loss of words both in English and in Swedish.

I have known Linda since spring 2004. It was then I found the Peter Breck Yahoo group. Linda welcomed me, as she did with everyone new. She also mentioned the Big Valley discussion group and the Writing Desk but it took sometime before I wandered over the discussion group. I officially joined 29th June 2004. I have to admit I have left and come back a few times since then. At the time I joined I thought that the Writing Desk was only for those who wrote so I didn’t even bother to check it out until later. It was like coming into a BV heaven. When I had read several stories there and on Holding Pen I had a few ideas and asked if there was a place where I could write them down as an idea for someone who wrote. I was told to write them myself. Linda offered to beta for me. (I was her first I believe) That was the birth of our friendship. Together we worked on 11 stories that were finished. The last one done with struggle. I got a writer's block before it was finished but when Linda told me that someone wanted to finish my story I pulled myself together and continued. Shortly after that Linda got ill and I had another beta for a few chapters. Boy, what a difference. I was pleased when Linda was up for it again. Linda was generous with her time, her encouraging words and extremely careful to suggest changes that wouldn’t be me. It took a year before she even told me that there was one word I almost every time spelled wrong and since the word I wrote existed my spell check didn’t pick it up. Now I’m trying to get myself together to finish at least one of them I have stored on my computer since Linda already have betad half of it.

More BV incidents: At one point I came into a disagreement with a woman who always seem to say that she was in a writer's block and then produced story after story always begging for feedback but never giving any to others and this was what the disagreement was about. At one point Linda pointed out to me that as an administrator she told me to back off a little but as herself she agreed completely with me. A “warning” from an administrator is to be taken seriously so I did what she wanted.

Now Linda and I did have our disagreements too. Numerous e-mails were sent about broken links and the hardness about finding information among those who worked. Some of you may know that this led to that I then got to sort them up. When the Study turned up I wanted what I had done deleted. Linda did not like this or agreed with me so we discussed this until the day I got credit for the links. Then she saw it from my point of view and the post was deleted.

I think that I shall share with you a memory that is not related with the Big Valley groups, directly that is. At one point there was a talk about cross-stitches, patterns and the Barkley family. I promised and did sew Nick for Linda. Years after I asked Diana Breck if that photo could be bought from them. She hadn’t seen the photo before. Anyway along with the picture I also sent Linda a cookbook I had put together for close friends for Christmas 2004. Linda gently told me that even thou she loved it she didn’t cook.

Linda and I have talked several times over the phone. It was always a pleasure to hear her soft English accent. Sadly our talks towards the end were rare. When ever I was in London I would talk to Linda almost every day sharing my day and experience. Going to London this May isn’t going to the same, something will be missing. Besides talking about our lives, we talked about our favourite family “the Barkley’s”, about books, well really about anything that came up.

I can go on and on this travel down the memory lane.

Now to why I chose the headline I did. First it was to honour Linda as this was her award winning story. I am so, so happy that she got to know that she had won. It had felt so bitter if the result had come this week. Secondly I like to think that Linda now is sitting by a campfire letting her family and friends know what has happened since they passed on. And I like to think that she is just ridin’ on ahead and will have a campfire ready for us when our turn comes. She will have gathered a huge pile of twigs and branches. The coffeepot and water kettle will ready to be hung over the fire the moment she sees us riding up towards her. She will have a chuck wagon ready with all the goodies we like or want. And there, by the fire, we will catch up with everything that has happened this day and forward.

So to end this.

Linda you became one of my dearest friends who forever will have a piece of my heart. Rest in peace, you will be forever missed.